Dessert
Spoon, What Dessert Spoon? A Simple Guide to Interview and Business
Etiquette
Nancy
Sue Merz
Assistant Director
Student Financial Assistance
Kansas
State
University
BMW.
The immediate image these letters conjure up is of a sleek and
expensive automobile. But for the young men of Phi Kappa Theta
Fraternity at Kansas
State
University,
it means something entirely different.
Recently,
I conducted a business etiquette short course for these students
where I tried to instill in them that BMW stands for Bread, Meal
and Water, a useful method to remember the basics in a meal related
job interview. I wanted these students to know which bread plate
belonged to them, what type of wine glass is intended for red,
white or rose wine, and I wanted them to know where a dessert
fork and spoon are placed. But most importantly, I wanted them
to practice over and over the basic rules of etiquette, until
they were so comfortable with those rules that they became second
nature . I wanted them to be poised and self-assured.
Why
etiquette?
Why
is it so important to teach correct etiquette? Teaching etiquette
helps college students establish the self-confidence needed for
job interviews conducted over a luncheon. Interviews are stressful
enough without having to wonder what fork should be used during
which course or what to do with your napkin if it falls on the
floor. Lastly, Unfortunately, some students fail to learn good
manners while growing up.
Even
though business etiquette is based upon common sense, it is important
to gain knowledge beyond the fundamentals. While students should
know not to talk with their mouths full, most do not know that
they should eat a small snack before a luncheon interview so they
can properly concentrate on the interview and interviewer, and
not on the fact that they are starving. Along this same line,
it may be common sense not to eat before everyone is served, but
students need to know that if they have not yet been served while
most at the table have their meal, that they should to encourage
the others to start eating.
Many
students may know that they should not use a toothpick, but they
should also know how to place their utensils on their plate when
they finish their meal. Common sense will dictate that the student
thank the host for the meal, but the student should also remember
to treat the wait staff with similar courtesies, using "please"
and "thank-you".
Acting
the Part
Proper
interview etiquette dictates the appropriate way to make introductions:
introduce the younger or less prominent person to the older or
more prominent person. Once again, practice makes perfect, and
this practice will help to ease any self-consciousness that the
student might feel when making introductions.
Students,
likewise, need to know how to handle etiquette "faux pas." Most
of us have been in a situation where someone is making an introduction
and can't remember a name. The best advice here is to understand
that everyone makes mistakes and a simple and sincere apology
will go a long way to rectifying the situation. Simply say, "I'm
sorry, but your name has slipped my mind." Or, "cover" by introducing
the person that you do know first. "Do you know Eric Jones, he
is one of our Admissions Counselors?" That will usually get the
unknown person to introduce him or herself. Failing to make the
introduction is a worse faux pas than admitting you have forgotten
a name.
Students
on the receiving end of an introduction should repeat the person's
name back; saying "Hi" or " Hello" is not enough. Instead, say,
"It is a pleasure to meet you, David." Or say, "Do you prefer
being called David or should I call you Dave?"
We
all can benefit from remembering that there may come a time when
we are the object of the faux pas, and not the offender. I once
saw a slender young man, sitting on a chair, at a dinner interview.
One minute, this young man was upright and eating, and the next,
he was on the floor, in the middle of a broken chair. I sat in
amazement, wondering what he would say. Would he swear and get
angry? Would he cry? He did neither; he made a joke, saying, "I've
only had one beer, I swear!!" Everyone laughed and the tension
in the room immediately evaporated. The key is to be gracious
and to play down the incident.
Another
faux pas is the use of derogatory language toward anyone (present
or absent) or using harsh words. There is just never a good time
for abrasive language or distasteful jokes.
Dressing
the part
The
itinerary of any interview etiquette course should include the
proper clothes needed for interviewing. The message I convey is
dress for the job that you want, not the job that you have. When
dressing for an interview, it never hurts to err on the side of
formality. The person conducting the interview may be in a polo
shirt and khakis, but if the interviewee really wants the job,
first impressions are critical. A conservative well-pressed suit
and shined shoes are essential.
Interview
Types
Since
the students often have pre-conceived notions of how job interviews
take place, I surprise them and teach about two little understood
types of interviews: behavioral and stress interviews. Often,
students have no idea that these types of interviews exist.
First,
(since they are the most fun to practice!) we talked about stress
interviews. A stress interview is a direct interview tactic where
candidates are asked questions designed to induce stress. I wanted
the students to understand that the interviewer was not really
a maniac, but would certainly appear to be one during the interview.
I also wanted them to understand that this is more of a test to
see how well they perform under pressure.
In
a worse case scenario, I explain that they could be kept waiting,
for as long an hour and then once they were introduced, the interviewer
could just coldly stare at them. I also explain that the interviewer
could hurl tough questions and not wait for an answer, or show
disdain or disagreement with an answer. It is important that students
remain calm and polite, even if the interviewer is rude. Do not
get flustered; rather to view this type of interview as a game.
Then we practice the scenario; I sit down with a student facing
me. I am calm and pleasant for the first few minutes and then
become hostile, defensive and argumentative. Then, I calm back
down. With this type of interview, practice makes perfect.
In
the behavioral interview, questions start with, "Tell me about
a time when you." or "Give me an example of..." Behavioral interviews
are not about what you know, but rather what you did.
College students often lack applicable job experience to call
upon for their answers. So, how does a college senior ready to
graduate prepare for this type of interview? The student should
recall experiences from college, e.g., group projects or working
in the residence halls.
There
are several excellent websites that deal with job interviews.
Start with the Clearinghouse's Job
Interview Resources.
Look for questions that fall under the category of stress or behavioral
interviews; practice answers to those questions.
Writing
a Résumé
Effective
résumé writing techniques are important to any job search; after
all, students only get one chance to get it right. I advise against
using templates, since they can become distorted if sent electronically
and making changes to a template can be difficult. ALWAYS
have someone else proof read a résumé for misspellings and typos.
The last piece of advice: this is not the time to be creative,
i.e., don't lie about anything on the résumé or cover letter.
For more information, check out the Clearinghouse's Resume
Resources.
Conclusion
I
have proofread many resumes and cover letters, and conducted mock
interviews, but these tools are quickly forsaken once a job is
offered. Good manners and proper etiquette are instruments that
will serve students well in all aspects of life, not just during
their workday. Business etiquette is a genderless art. Mastering
this art will allow anyone to walk into a room with good posture
and a confident air.
I
would like to end by passing along one more piece of etiquette
advice. This advice is good for student and advisor alike. If
you go to lunch with someone you enjoy being with, but find yourself
routinely stuck with paying the bill, get out of the rut. Don't
get mad. Go out again with that person and, as you begin to order,
tell the waitress or waiter you would like separate checks. After
the wait staff leaves, look over at your companion and exclaim,
"I didn't want you to think that you were going to have to pay
for my meal!" That gets you off the hook, and you look gracious
doing it.
Resources
