TO THE PARENTS

Jerry O'Connor

New Mexico State University

Advisors: More than half of my students are first generation. Since I do give an orientation to the parents, I also listen to their concerns. Over the past four years, I have heard that many parents find it difficult to talk to their child after they leave home. That a sort of estrangement arise. They are proud their child is in school and even more proud if they are doing well. But the separation seems to be more than just physical. So, I am working on an addition to my parent's orientation but, frankly, I am at a loss as to whether or not to push it. I would appreciate your input. Contact me at jaoconno@nmsu.edu

TO THE PARENTS

Have you wondered what to ask your child concerning his or her first full term of academic studies? That life style is still undeveloped for them but there are questions you, as a parent, could pose. I won't guarantee what the answers might be and I would hope that anything you ask would not result in some sort of altercation. The questions listed below
are only suggestions. Should they generate an active dialogue between you and that collegian now home raiding the refrigerator or bragging to that younger sibling about the onerous burden of academics, we at the university will be delighted. When you create the atmosphere for a dialogue, you are underwriting our attempts at keeping the student on track and with purpose. We of the Arts & Sciences Advising Office will be your strongest boosters.
So take your child to a nearby coffee shop or some such place (neutral ground) and have a good exchange but, please, listen with energetic patience. Best wishes.

THINGS TO DISCUSS DURING THE FIRST CHRISTMAS BREAK

1. Do you know the names of all your professors? (note: My name is O'Connor but I have been called, Conlon, O'Connell, O'Donnelly, Connor, Conwell, Donlan, Dooly, O'Rourke (?), and I am certain several other names.

2. What do you know about your professors? Their background, educational training or interests?

3. Can you figure out or understand the objectives of each of your classes?

4. Have you had to do any report or research writing?

5. Is the fact that NMSU has two libraries about 50 yards apart confusing?

6. What is the point of two libraries? What is the difference between the two?

7. What skills do you now know you need to be a better student?

8. Has any faculty member given you encouragement? Have you even spoked to a faculty member?

9. Anything about the campus surprise you?

10. What is your academic situation for next term? Bigger load? Smaller?

11. Any ideas about your future academic focus?

12. Have you missed any important dealines or missed any classes?

13. Would it upset you if I stopped by to visit with you sometime?

14. I know that if I did, you would like to take you out to dinner but could you ever take me into a class?

15. Be honest now, have you been regular in your class attendance?

16. If you missed some, were you able to make up any work or get the notes your needed?

17. Academically what has been the most interesting class or lecture?

18. Can you think of anything we could do to help? We would like to, you know.

19. Have you hit any snags yet? How did you handle them?

20. Do you ever get discouraged? What about? Care to talk about it?

21. Are there any groups or organizations you are thinking of joining?

22. If you did, would such a group take a lot of your time?

23. Would membership be of benefit to you academically?

24. What advice are you going to give your younger brother, sister or high school friend about what to do in preparation for college life?

25. Do you think they will even listen to you?

26. What is the silliest thing you have heard or seen happen?

27. Was there ever a point in which you wanted to leave and just come home? Why? How did you overcome it?

28. How much of a shock was college life for you when compared to high school?

29. Can you spot those who you know will succeed academically from those who are going to have difficulty?

30 Have you experienced total sleep deprivation and was it "all that studying" that did it?